library stalker

[timepiece]

I have acquired my own library stalker. I'm not going to say he's obsessed with me, but talking to me certainly seems to be the highlight of his library visits. The others here tell me that when he comes on my days off, he leaves almost immediately once he realizes I'm not here.

He watches me, and tries to get me involved in conversations (which I don't want to do - I'm perfectly willing to answer questions, but not have personal conversations). It does not help that he has a very heavy foreign accent and is really difficult to understand. He tries to find out my work schedule (which I have refused to give him - I outright told him there was no reason he needs to know that). He tried to find out where I lived and who with (actually, I told him who with: "my husband." So he can't pretend he doesn't know that).

He's really beginning to creep me out.

And today, he tried to present me with a poem he wrote. For me. About me. Which I refused to take, on the grounds that it was not appropriate.

He doesn't take hints! How do I get him to go away? He's not threatening, he's just ... creepy. My co-workers say I should get Rich to come in and loom over him, but that seems a little much.

Comments

[mish.livejournal.com]

Wow.. that is creepy.

Is the security staff available to hang out near you next time he's there? Perhaps if they are noticably close, he'll get the hint.

[timepiece]

Mm. No security staff - we're too small (and generally too well-behaved) a branch to need it. Thus the threat of Rich coming to loom.

[genders.livejournal.com]

Having been the victim of a stalker, I would suggest the following. First, ask your boss if this is grounds for revoking his library privileges. Then, if so, next time he approaches you, tell him in no uncertain terms that you do not encourage personal relationships with patrons and that continued abuse will result in the loss of his privileges. If there is no way to remove him from the library, I would think seriously about documenting these incidents and applying for a restraining order.

People like this are sick. Get him off you.

[electricrocket.livejournal.com]

My mother was a librarian for many years, and had a similar experience back when she and my father first started dating, with, as in your case, a foreign man with a thick accent. Really, the stories are almost identical, separated by 40 years.

Her solution was to have my father and his roommate come down and give him a stern talking to the next time he showed up. He came a few more times and gave her evil glares, but then stopped showing up.

So, in essence I have evidence that your co-worker's plan is sound. He might be thinking that you're just playing hard to get, but having a man-to-man chat might drive your point home. I don't think it's a little much, if he's reached the poetry stage.

[libwitch.livejournal.com]

As someone who had a library stalker (same thing, nothing really wrong per se, just creepy) I would say to have the supervisor address him directly, and "encourage" him to keep all conversations with you appropiate to reference transacations. This is also an apprioopate first step in documentating the problem.

Having your husband come in can simply escalate the situation if the gentleman choses to look at it as a threat.